Information Overload (ed)

Remember the days when Facebook was fun!?  The days when you were so excited to connect with friends and family who you lived far from. The days when you couldn't wait to "find" more friends from college, high school and beyond. It took me a minute, but yeh, I remember those days too.

Family from far away who we love to connect with.

What changed?  I am watching more and more of my friends log off or take a break.  And to be honest the thought has crossed my mind many, many times and I have acted on it a few times too.  I find myself grappling to try to make sense of my time spent online, do you?  Are any of you caught up in an emotional affair with your screen and have started neglecting the people around you who actually need your love and attention!?  I know Facebook is changing their format so now businesses and advertising won't pop up as much in your news feeds....but truly I don't think that is why we are all experiencing online burnout.  Although I only find that to be true for business pages, those who pay for advertising are popping up all over my newsfeed. Anyway, for me it's the increasing negativity, the increasing quick criticism, and the hateful divisiveness.

What's with the rise of GIF and Meme comments!?  It's because we can't engage in a meaningful conversation on Facebook without feeling attacked or sickened by someone else's comments so now we post someone famous making an eyeroll for a sarcastic laugh.  For me, seeing people spew hate to perfect strangers over Politics is too much. It's too much when I see someone ask a simple question only to be questioned and even made fun of for asking what would have been a simple question turned debate.  You all know what I'm talking about.

Meme with a little advertising thrown in

It's too much tearing down and not enough building up.  I'm not talking about fake cheerleading either, like "Hey everyone is the best cook ever, everything you post looks so delicious!"

So now I'm going to ask you, do you remember the days when neighbors actually needed each other?  When you actually needed friends to talk to, to walk you through a deep hurt or difficult time in your life? Like a real, heart beating person sitting across from you to hold your hand while you cried your eyes out?  Do you know why I ask this about your neighbor?  Maybe it's because I'm heading into the throws of a New England winter where everyone seems a little quick to cut you off or maybe it's because we are caught in a place where we have a neighbor who hates us.  But what I really think is that because my heart longs to be kind to my neighbor, my heart aches when I see someone else hurting, and at the core of my being I want relationships to be made whole and not broken.

So what, so how, where do we go from here?  Well I'll share what I have done and will continue to work on. After all none of us is Pinterest perfect in every area.  I have started intentionally praying and reaching out asking people to meet up and share life with me.  Yes, I am an extrovert and I love new friends. I suppose that's why I have so many on Facebook, but if 90% of the time when I log on I leave with a sick feeling and rarely ever walk away with a smile on my face then something is wrong, something needs to change and I must make better choices for myself, for my sanity and so should you.  It might not necessarily mean logging off, but you need to make that call and evaluation for yourself. After all, that's probably how you found this post.  Could we agree to go back to using it as a tool for staying connected, a tool for sharing prayers and fundraisers, hey and what the heck promote your business too, I do!  Do you know how many "stranger customers" I have received, some even becoming friends because I posted my business on Facebook!  And if you don't like the business posts just keep scrolling.  I suppose we could say just keep scrolling if you see someone's comment or post you don't agree with, but the problem is that business posts don't elicit gut-wrenching emotions, they inform you about a product or a deal.  Many many other posts are deliberate to evoke intense emotions and create divisiveness.  I've done it to, just to state my piece or to clear my mind of something I've been pondering to relate to other people who know "the struggle is real" only to quickly find myself caught up in a war of words, reaching stretching to get back to the heart of connection.  We all need it, true connection and less word wars.  We have become less dependent on being good neighbors and become screen warriors.

And you know at the end of this I'm thinking, actually there are so many things that have caused me to stop and think and really examine my own heart this side of the screen, so maybe, just maybe keep posting your frustrations, maybe I need to keep scrolling if it's too much, or maybe I need to ask you, the one that I'm finding offense with to coffee.  (friends if I ask you to coffee don't assume I have a gripe, haha!  I actually probably just really need to connect with you)

If anything I want to challenge you to answer for yourself: How can I find deep connection and meaningful relationships in an increasingly online world!?  What can I do today to love my neighbor, online OR next door?


Much Love, Jen

(Feel free to send me a private message to set up a counseling session if you need to process things on a deeper level and are seeking freedom and healing from the brokenness of this world. I also have a wonderful friend who is currently seeking new clients who need relationship and communication help specifically)